JR ~ forever remembered

I realize this may be a little much for some to read about. But that hasn’t stopped me from expressing myself before. ;-)  This time it’s about murder, a case many have forgotten, and the one our family fought to bring to justice, and still fight to maintain justice today. 

 

My feelings are strong as yet another request for freedom faces us. A letter arrives to the homes of my Aunts, my Mother and a cousin who is on the list to be notifyed of all activity. Granny has now been gone for 16 years... so she will no longer receive these letters that I am sure brought fresh tears as she opened them.  Each time one is received we know it's another request for parole... or, for freedome to live out the rest of her life. Release request from a 20 to life conviction where 24 have been served. We, as a family, have served 32. That is 32 years without him.  And her freedom will not give us ours. Our lack of freedom from this nightmare is indefinite. I have sent this letter with a little more detail to the attorneys office … I have it in my private files of penned expressions of life... but this... it may be relatable to someone else who is suffering such a loss... as it appears we are living in a day when it is not uncommon. 

I received a call from Uncle Junior, it was around this time of the month. He was my Mom's only brother. She has many siblings… two step brothers… and this only brother who also shared the same Mother. He was Grannies baby boy. He was calling to say he wouldn't be able to make it to my wedding, July 2nd, 1988. 

He had recently separated from “this woman” and was going to go back, at her coercing ... not because of it, but because he was concerned about leaving his son (This woman’s son he had been raising as his own. She was expecting him when they met) I remember that cute little red headed boy and how much Uncle Junior loved him. He felt that he needed him worse than he needed to be free of this woman and her lifestyle that he knew was not good. Because of it he was concerned for his own safety but worried so much more about the boy. 

 

I knew how much he loved him, so I understood and told him I would be home soon and would see him then. I never did. Over the next few months we would be searching for answers. Being a mom today of a 32 year old, 24 and 22 year old... all boys... I can only imagine the grief my Grandmother suffered as she begged for answers from this woman and her family. I had a front row seat to this family grief. 

Christmas would always have a gift wrapped for him... just in case. And every year thereafter... an answering machine that was bought so that Granny could feel a little safer leaving home just in case Uncle Junior called or someone called with information. 

One day I received a piece of mail that was signed "JR" ... it was some sort of add and completely unrelated, but because it had a signature with "JR" we had hopes it was some sort of sign he was sending that he was alive... so many things that were probably crazy to most, our imagination went wild with hope. 

For years I have remembered that little red headed boy he was raising and wondered if he really knew how loved he was by Uncle Junior and our family. 

I have memories of him when I was around 4 maybe? I am sure those memories I have of him are because his Mother, My Granny, loved him so much. His little girl was also so special to us… and I recall her as a toddler… just learning to walk …. I loved her sweet little face, only 4 years younger than me. She insisted on playing with this artificial flower in the middle of Grannies coffee table… and I didn’t like for them to tell her ‘no’ and smack her little chubby hands as they tried to teach her that this wasn’t a toy lol ;-) 

 My first flight was one I have little memory of, I am told my Mother & I, and Granny went to see him graduate from the service. Then holidays was the only time we would see him when ‘this woman’ came into his life. 

 Today my boys are grown and I believe they have some family characteristics and I wonder if just maybe they are some resemblances in those characteristics that Uncle Junior had as well. 

This woman never allowed us to get close to her... she was cold and never friendly... When he was missing... when he was labeled as the arsonist ... I knew in my heart those cold eyes of hers held the answers. 

How someone can set up such a kind, caring, soft hearted man, who raised her child she was expecting when he met her...and have him blunged to death, and personally take his body to a wooded area, dump him from a trunk and cover him in a shallow grave,  I will never be able to understand. Only 34 years old... so much life left to live yet it was thrown into the woods and left there for 8 years. 

For 8 years my Grandmother never stopped seeking answers. 

"this woman" had her freedom for EIGHT LONG YEARS, while our family was held in this prison of heart wrenching reality that he was most likely not coming home. I would say that undeserved freedom while hiding the truth was enough..... these 8 years she walked free while we suffered agony and watched my Aunts and Grandmother suffer with such longing to know where he was, if he was alive, if he was dead and if so where had they taken him.... She now request freedom… and I believe the 8 she had before convicted was more than deserved. 

She robbed my Grandmother of her son, my Mother & Aunt's of their brother, she robbed her own son of the man who loved him and would have been everything a Father could possibly be in his life to this very day.  She robbed me of my Uncle Junior where the future held so many possibilities. Cold hearted and never once shown remorse that I am aware of. 

To be allowed to be free from prison would be a disgrace to my Uncle's Memory, to his family and to the citizens who also would be living around and near her. God forbid she want revenge.... and who knows... the next 'friend' in her life that plays apart in enraging her evil side may never be found. Sound extreme? I don't' think so... it's been our reality. 

Although I feel like I am writing some fictional script for a book or movie... unfortunately, I am sharing from deep within a broken heart and our families reality. 

I hope that somehow we can live with forgiveness and never allow bitterness to be apart of this story we have lived... that is the hard part for each of us. I often think, I do not want to see anyone lost in this world to eternity... not even her... that is how I know, I am free of bitterness, but I am not free from the pain and regrets, the loss and the anguish of this life impacting loss through generations of family who never had the chance to know him .... and just because I am free of bitterness doesn't mean I am willing to see her experience freedom. Maybe if we had ever seen or heard of the least bit of regret, remorse... just maybe at this point we would feel differently. What is the timeframe for 'enough time served' ?  Our family will never know that freedom from this grief.... I wish there could be 'enough time served in grief'  

This is written to share the grief, the feeling that surfaces when a murderer request to have freedom with enough time served….While as a family freedom from this grief will never come, her freedom should be equal to ours... and we will never know freedom from this pain. 

 

Monica….the niece of JR. 

 

If you are in a relationship where there is evil present, wrong doing surrounding you…. don’t take that lightly …. RUN to the people who value you. STAY where you know you are loved. It’s not worth the ripple effects of heartache for your family… and you deserve more. 

The photo here is Me ... and Uncle JR.  

 

Since writting this.. I have contemplated... should I be willing to let it go and no longer fight to keep her behind bars? Of course it comes to my mind often.... can I forgive but yet remain strong in the stance to have her remain behind bars?? I can't tell you the answer... I wish I knew.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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31.05 | 08:40

I absolutely LOVE you Monica!! So glad I found your blog. Can’t wait to catch up on what’s been going on. 💜 Hope to see you in TX in October. ~ Angie

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15.02 | 23:07

Thanks for stopping by and sharing a laugh with us and maybe a few other 'moments' that I hope were encouraging!

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10.01 | 18:29

I have heard of this page. Good things. I am glad I finally found it.

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18.12 | 22:08

Your so funny!!! Miss you!!!

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